Alive and well~

Hello lovelies, I see some new additions. Every time I see a new follower I get a little nervous so before I get started on this post I just want to say "HOLY SHIT I`VE BEEN DISCOVERED!!!!" .  I know I don`t have that many followers but I appreciate the ones I do have. I don`t promote my own blog so a lot of you were probably directed here from Tomo`s blog. Tomo has been dropping little hints that I exist for a while now (I love you Tomo and I`m afraid to see what you`ll do with me next).

I was so excited about this that I almost ruined the surprise in my last post but   I got NEW LENSES from Honey Color!!!! I got them like a week or so ago but nothing has really been happening so I wanted to hold off with pictures but nothing is changing. Here are my Geo Bambi Apple Green lenses. You`ll have to wait and see the other ones.

Life has still been really busy, my skin is playing games with me and I`m thinking about trying tinted moisturizer. I know it won`t  hide much but my skin can`t take the harsh foundation removal everyday. I`ve been trying stuff with makeup but my dull skin and acne spots makes me not even want to take pictures anymore because I look like someone locked me in their basement and let me out for air (sunken eyes, dark circles and all).

This has been my everyday look, it`s probably not very everyday. I look like a zombie

derp-faced in some hall at school

I kind of like wearing novelty glasses. I hated my glasses when I had no choice but to wear them but I started to miss them. The only problem is glasses and lashes don`t mix, even sunglasses. I hate when they brush up against each other,  so I stop blinking and my eyes suffer.

The morning of those pictures some lady wandered into the bathroom while I was fixing my makeup and just walked right back out as soon as she took a few steps in. BITCH I DON`T BITE (even if I look like I do and even if I did I don`t want to bite you). People are so close-minded even though I`m at a creative arts college. The trains are even worst. Some man looked dead in my eyes and we had a staring contest while the lady next to him talked to herself. I usually avoid eye contact but THAT MAN!!!! He did not blink, he did not turn his head, do side glances or look around one bit. He justand Iuntil I got off.

Some people in my classes are nicer but I can tell it`s because they`re just as  bored as I am. They probably don`t even take me seriously and I`m slowly learning not to care. I`m proud of myself for cutting stuff with a band-saw and sanding it with all my finger intact in 3D design but I`m still uneasy. My Japanese class is full of weeaboos with the exception of the VK girl. I have no problem with them, I probably have weeaboo tendencies every now and then and I have friends who are like that but these kids are UGH!!! I can`t tell if they`re in the class for the right reasons or not because it`s like they`re trying to out weeaboo each other to impress the teacher. 

I know my voice gets squeaky but it`s because I can`t be loud. It`s like that when I speak loud in English, so in class my voice almost breaks when we do lessons out loud. There`s a girl who speaks normal to everyone else but repeats everything our teacher says a million times in one of those retarded voices girls trying to be Youtube famous with Asians use just because. And she`s always MELON BREAD AND POCKY POCKY POCKY.Then they all start chanting Pocky. I like pocky, it`s good but GOD DAMN.

And the nerdiest creeper in my class had the nerve to come to class in a big ass Haruhi sweater when it was still hot as all hell. We just learned the na, ne, nu, ne, no and these poor souls start shouting about Inuyasha as soon as the teacher wrote Inu on the board. MY LIFE SDSASDJHSKD!!!! I just want to get through one lesson normally. Our teacher made us do this exercise where we had to exchange phone numbers in Japanese...I DIED!!!!!

More pictures from that day (some were taken in very natural lighting with the window open, then the shades were adjusted for less lighting) :

 Comparing the green in my eyes to a random plant:

Makeup:

  I don`t know what`s up with me and that splash of red. 

No lashes during school.

Today I slept 13 hrs straight, I`m still tired. I should be studying, drawing or doing something important but all I want to do is sleep.

Living my life one experiment at a time...

I have no life anymore so just a small update on nothing much. Things are moving so FAST!!! A day in a half to soak up so much Japanese twice a week, psychology quiz after a day to study and lord knows what.  Then there`s 3D design with power tools and horror stories of people loosing fingers and some girl from Yale getting her hair caught in a machine and passing away. My teachers sure know how to motivate.

This week I`ve been without foundation (with the exception of one day) after a sudden breakout to give my skin a chance to breath . It`s not that pretty but it`s needed. I`ve been making my cleanser really lathery because I heard foam cleansers clean deeper (don`t know if it`s what`s in it or foam in general but I think I see improvement and my skin clearing faster). I even went a day without any makeup at all due to going out for just one class. At first I was really self conscious because I have to figure out what to do about all these acne spots/scars but when I got home I noticed they weren`t even that bad and instead of having a gross no make-up face, I just look like a little kid with my naturally huge eyes.

Wednesday I wanted to do a Kodona/ Visual Kei look but more Gal. I don`t know if I succeeded but it was fun.  I`m proud of myself for finally tying a tie right even though I don`t know how I did it. I also made myself a new hat since my green one doesn`t go well with everything and I`m too broke to go out and buy a black hat.

I also really miss my bear hats and it`s not cold enough to wear them so this will have to do for now.  Thursday when I got home from school I forgot to take it off and answered the door thinking it was my mom. It was just two little girls and their mom selling chocolate. They couldn`t stop staring at my hat. For a brief moment, I felt like an amusement park attraction and wanted to hug them because they seemed so happy (and children are usually so mean to me). Things like that make me want to work with kids sometimes but nah.

So here is Wednesday`s look, excuse everything (took off my lashes at some point and messed up my make up a bit). I should take pictures before I leave the house but I don`t have time in the morning. 

I couldn`t get a full coord shot so here`s bits and pieces of my outfit:

I got a few small packages, nothing big on my budget:.

lolz my 1st lash curler, hope I don`t rip the lashes off my face getting use to it. I was kind of hesitant about the lashes. They save money but I got addicted to my old ones. I`ll try to take pictures of me wearing them soon. The ring is a little loose and non-adjustable but I`ll figure it out.

Overall, this week has been a bit heartbreaking and tiring. School is wearing me down mentally, people wearing me down emotionally. I`m not the type of person who can just not do something. Even if I procrastinate, I can`t skip class, I can`t not do a project or assignment and I drive myself crazy not giving up even when I`m messing everything up so I probably stress more than I should.

Good things did happen, toward the end of the week I`ve gotten a little closer to a few classmates that I least expected to ever talk to.  Two in my Japanese class (a really serious web-designer/family man and another illustration major who stopped me on the way out because of my purple hair leading to a whole random conversation) and my Writing and Rhetoric 2 class (some guy I was paired with during introductions who randomly told me my parents should have named me something like Kira or Akira). Another girl randomly made a statement about wishing she could pull of  purple hair like me then she brought up Nicki Minaj and that lead to another conversation amongst classmates. It slightly irked me and I did let them know I`m not trying to look like her because I DON`T LIKE NICKI MINAJ!!!! Every black girl with a different fashion sense from the norm and colorful hair isn`t trying to be her!!!!!

Things have even gotten a little weird.  Creepers have been creeping on me more while I`m minding my own business which is strange because you`d think my style would scare them away. I`m starting to think some of them have weird fetishes I don`t intend to be apart of. I even caught a girl with a huge canon camera (or something like it) on the train platform across from me snapping pictures of me before casually going down the stairs. I admit I`m pretty slow so now I`m hoping people aren`t collecting weird candids of me while I`m not paying attention (which is always).

What is going on with my life all of a sudden?

Lately I don`t feel like myself, am I starting to look like someone else too?

Do you seriously wake up feeling like someone else? It`s been that way for me lately, maybe I`m just stressed and tired. My mom thinks I have anemia, so maybe my mind is a little off because my blood is messed up. Whatever it is, it`s really unsettling sometimes. While I was working on this weeks post I remembered some pictures I took last Sunday and when I looked at them I didn`t recognize myself at all. Maybe it`s just bad cell pictures and the natural lighting playing with my eyes, something I did rushing to do my makeup or maybe I haven`t really stopped to look at myself  since I stopped wearing glasses. I don`t really care if they`re good or not, I know my face is weird at times but whatever, I just wanted you all to see what I mean. They haven`t been altered other than some cropping. 

And towards the end I feel like myself again.

Maybe I`m just being weird eh?