Jewlery designer, Koakuma Ageha model, singer and actress, Sakurina is a big inspiration to other Gals but surprisingly I didn`t really take interest in her until recently. In one of my really random searches I stumbled upon a note from her blog on Mana Starre`s blog that she got from a Sakurina tumblr. The post is probably pretty old (a year I think) but it was so touching that I just have to re-post it here for those who haven`t seen it.
Good evening.
This is Sakurina.
Today I will tell you what I am thinking.
How do I say this. I’m turning 27 this April…so you think about a lot of things.
Honestly, I don’t think I can continue being a model like this, a lot of young cute girls come out in this world, I feel uneasy and impatient and at times I think “What am I?”
Even so, when I write in my blog there are fans who look at it and when I have events people come…am I someone who is burdened with those people’s expectations.
But, it’s been my dream for a while now, I finally feel like I have something that I want to proceed with, it is singing.
It’s difficult and I was giving up, but you only have one life, if I’m going to live for however many years I should do what I want at the time or I’ll miss out.
I hear that you shouldn’t use the phrase “Someone like me…” anyway.
In the past I hated my face so much that I broke a mirror twice.
How come that girl’s eyes are so big but mine are like this?
How come that girl’s eyelashes are so long but mine are…
How come that girl’s nose is tall but mine is…
How come that girl’s teeth are so nice but mine are…
How come that girl…I hated everything about myself, I got angry, I cried, every day I was irritated.
Right now the reason why my makeup is dark is to deceive everything.
It’s one of the things I thank the world for.
If I was already cute before then I wouldn’t mind wearing lighter makeup.
That’s why if I have a boyfriend I don’t like him seeing other cute girls.
Because they’re all originally cute.
It’s not fair.
When I saw a gravure idol she said “Why don’t you try making your makeup lighter?” I thought be quiet.
Once I was in ageha, my skin was rough, I hate events, tv, photography, I don’t even like going outside to shop.
“Wouldn’t it be hard to find someone with dirtier skin than me?”
On the train, the grandma next to me or the salary man sleeping in front of me, my skin was the dirtiest…
I don’t want to see anyone I don’t want to be seen…
I took it out on my parents.
My mom told my father that if she could change she would.
If I don’t have room for myself then I can’t be nice to people.
I hate myself for that and it leads to a vicious circle.
Right now my skin has gotten better, I’ve gotten used to the environment and right when I thought I had calmed down all of a sudden I had reached this age…
There are things on here that I can’t write, things I hate, a lot of horrible things.
Even so, I have to live.
Right now, for all those people who have been filled with anger…
Rather than having regret of not doing it, regret after doing it will help you grow.
I’m going to try harder.
Everyone let’s get stronger together.
The anger right now, when you turn 80 years old, it’ll just be a funny story.
You’ll be telling someone, “Something like that happened”
As long as you get over it right now, more enjoyable things will be waiting for you.
Starting something new, even though it’s scary, when it’s a success you’ll feel more happiness.
You won’t know till you try anything.
I’m small, my style isn’t that great, I wasn’t really beautiful to begin with, but even someone like me can work as a model and have lots of people laugh, it’s a mysterious world, as long as you don’t give up then your dreams can come true.
Those who become happy are the winners.
I feel like I won’t lose to those girls who are originally cute, originally smart, or originally athletic.
I would be happy if at least one out of many reading this blog thought “I’m going to try hard!”
A lot of people are reading this blog so I felt the need to tell you guys more things. Please continue to watch over me.
Thank you so much.
It`s amazing to me because I think she`s perfect but I can relate a lot to her post. The mirror issues, the skin issues, EVERYTHING!!!
Sakurina over the years:
As far as her singing career goes I wasn`t able to find much but here`s what I have:
And then of course there`s the movie she`s in Girl`s Life (I`m sure everyone`s seen it but here):
UGHHHHHHHH no one has English subs to it yet!?!? Maybe the person who subbed the trailer could sub the rest!!! Until then I guess w`ll have to watch the opening over and over again...
