Hair EMERGENCY and a third encounter... * I apologize for the format of this post it looks fine while I edit it but not when I post it and refuses to be fixed. ._. )

I went to a trunk party during the summer and was naturally greeted by several friend requests on FaceBook soon after. I even added a few new numbers to my cell but out of all my new friends one stood out in particular and he made me promise to meet up with him. Last month he took me to see:

Yea the train movie, it was either that or some comedy. No really my kind of movie but it was alright. I think he was making fun of me because he always randomly posting "makin your way downtown walkin fast....da na na na na na na...." on my page and such since I go to school downtown now.

(yes really...)

Anyway everything was nice enough for me to hang out with him again so this time around I said yes without realizing the horrible mess I had on my head. I haven`t had a perm in over a year and African American hair is no joke at all. My mom usually gives me sew-in`s but my hair has gotten so bad that it`s a mess before the 2nd week. My hair is literally trying to defy me and I get fly aways and big puffs of hair everywhere.  


 I couldn`t hide my hair under a hat so I decided to go to a local beauty supply store and buying another mannequin head (the other one didn`t arrive yet) and some hair glue. I also bought these really cute black and metallic leggings.I normally don`t wear flashy things but I needed a style upgrade and the Chinese man who works there kept telling me they were the last black pair in the U.S. so I couldn`t resist them. My sister got the pink ones ( I`ll probably be borrowing those soon unless I decide to go back for a pair, hopefully they`ll still be there).

  

 I threw my wig together in less than a day and my mom did the closure. Before I flattened  it, it could have easily be used for a less extreme Banba look. My mom didn`t like how thick it was but I loved it because I looked like a little monster ready to attack from under it or a red-haired Kayako Saeki (from The Grudge).

See?  (before the makeup I forgot to take s picture after. I was in that much of a rush ._.)

The closure literally went on an hour before he picked me up so we didn`t have time to do anything really elaborate to it  ("We" meaning my mom I can`t style hair at all XD).  As of now I don`t know how I want to style it at all but a bang or swoop could be a start. Maybe I`ll experiment with this wig when I make a new one and this one is just about done for.

   I rushed to put on my makeup and nails. When I finally finished I was extremely disappointed because I looked like a scene/emo kid. It happened to be New Years Eve and unfortunately, we both had nothing really planned so we went to the mall for a very particular pair of jeans that he wanted. When we got there it was closed so we just rode around and went to Krispy Creme (yum!!!)  We ended up just sitting in the parking lot for the longest and usually it would have been an awkward infinite silence but he was really goofy (although he admitted to being really shy...which I still refuse to believe.) He just danced his little heart out and kept me laughing in between our small talk.

 So now I`m  home facing this extreme amount of pain I`ve gradually acquired. I didn`t want to cancel because I promised so I endured it. I hope it`s not a big deal.

 

Merry Late Christmas

 I spent the holidays at my grandparent`s house as usual. This year was a little sad because not as many people showed up.  Although I usually spend most of the holidays alone in my room by choice, I decided to just be around everyone this year  and I noticed our family gatherings are getting smaller every year.  I guess this year is just different because the entire house usually pitches in to cook and do different things but my great-grandparent`s have been ill for awhile so things have been changing a lot.

 For Christmas I never know what I want unless I`m dying for some new technology so this Christmas I just asked for money and got two pairs of really warm but cute pajamas.





 I got this pair Candies (my fav) in white.  I should have asked for a new camera too so I could take pics myself. ._. Since I got a lot of  money  I decided to finally feed my online shopping addiction and bought:



I bought 2 of these. One for me and the other for my best friend (since 1st grade *_*). The design on it was a different and I`m not wearing mines until I giver her the other one to her. I also got a free ponytail holder with a flower pendant attached to it (may have been a mistake but oh well XD). I`m also planning on giving it to her since I`ll probably never wear it. *hates ponytails*

I was happy and upset because I wanted one of these hats for the longest but at the time I bought it they only had white and a few weeks later they put up a pink one. ._.

200 eps that`ll probably take me a few yeas to get through but I had to do it. Sailor Moon was my 1st anime. It`s the reason I became an artist, the reason I became interested in Japanese Culture at a young age, leading me to Japanese fashion & eventually Gyaru Fashion. So I had to have it <3

  I also bought a mannequin head so I can start making my own wigs.  When I try them on at the beauty supply store they never look remotely right on me  and I was afraid to buy one online and get the stingiest, nappiest costume wig in the world. I hope my little experiment goes well and I hope everyone got what they wanted.





I hate my skin...

I would always get a pimple or two in the most randomly noticeable spots on my face. My skin really got out of control a few weeks after starting college. My forehead was breaking out the most and I had a few scattered pimples. I started covering my breakouts with hair, hats and headbands, knowing I was making it worst but I didn`t want anyone to see how disgusting my skin is. 

A few weeks ago, my self esteem really took a blow after I gouged a hole in my face from being impatient with my skin. I know it`s bad to pick at pimples and touch your face in general but looking in the mirror and seeing that every day was depressing. However, messing with my face made me realize that it could always be worst so I`ll never do it again. I covered it with Hello Kitty band-aids and my hair to make me feel better but it didn`t really work.

Last weekend I went to the store with my grandmother hoping to find a good moisturizer to stop my skin from flaking (from the trial and error of testing other products). Instead she ended up buying me this:

At first I told her to put it back because of all the failed treatments I was using damaging my skin even more but I`ve been using this day and night for a whole week   (okay almost, I fell asleep before putting it on at night sometimes...). At first I though I was hallucinating from wanting it to work so bad but my skin actually started clearing up immediately (I seriously wish I took pics).  Everyone`s skin is different so it may not work for everybody.

Personally, over winter break I`m going to look for more natural solutions because the benzoyl  peroxide in the second step of this system really does it`s job in drying the pimples out and even though it includes an SPF moisturizer, it still really makes my skin flake up so I have to put alot on (which sucks because the bottle isn`t that big). I`m using it right, I apply the 1st and 3rd bottle whenever I wash my face and the benzoyl on the blemished areas but I`m going to cut down on using it and just keep everything away from my face.

In one of LIGYARU`s YouTube videos she brought up Extra Virgin Olive Oil being good for the skin, I talked to my cousin who knows about things like that and she agreed but I`m going to wait until winter break to test it out (from the safety of my own home) because of how sensitive my skin has become.

These two videos from LIGYARU`S Channel have made up my mind about being Gyaru:

 

All of these Gals  are amazing to me but Lisha was my first Western Gal role model and she always will be, Yuri`s style is close to what I`m aiming for in the future (I was a little sad when I visited her blog & her style seemed different though but I`ll be trying to do Tsuyome first and then move up from there),  LIGYARU has a completely different style of her own that I think most Gals are afraid to even try so I admire her a lot and Valentine is my everyday Gyaru role model. All of these Gals summed up the Gyaru lifestyle beautifully and they go into details about things beyond the make ,hair and nails.  After watching this video I plan on being Gal forever but I still won`t call myself Gal until I feel like I`ve earned it.

I admit I haven`t been taking very good care of myself due to all these final projects. I`ve still been working on my coords but I haven`t worn make in quite some time. I plan on working on so much during break and I`ll try to make a list to put up here later.

Hint hint... digging through grandma`s closet I found FUR (a vest and a leather jacket covered in the stuff). I convinced her to let me have them (but I`ll never tell her why). They`re both HIDEOUS but I see so many possibilities in them...a fur shawl or scarf, or leg warmers from the sleeves (I hope it doesn`t make my legs look shorter, maybe just for the trim of some boots ._. ). I also may be able to successfully detach the fur from the jacket so I can get a nice leather jacket ) . I`m usually TERRIFIED of customizing and I probably shouldn`t but once school is over I`ll try  >:] (first time using that face and it really is creepy).

When are you going to join B*C Kira*Kira?

This question has been lingering since I met B*C and honestly I almost jumped into applying when I first found their site without thinking.  Many B*C Gals have been asking me this and I`ve asked myself this several times but I really don`t know.

When I first started hanging out with B*C and started going to school downtown I thought the self esteem issues I had were gone. Those first few weeks I felt like I could conquer anything. I finally got the hang of liquid eyeliner. I  started dressing a lot better going from loose fitting jeans, to skinny jeans to leggings and really short shorts with cute fur boots. My clothes were really coordinated and although I still couldn`t hold a conversation to save my life, I was getting out a lot more. I was the happiest I`d ever been.

I`ve been trying my best to remain positive but these past few weeks have taken their toll on me. I`ve been struggling more than ever with how I feel about myself. I spend the whole week hating my face because I can`t wake up early enough to even put on the eyeliner. I look in the mirror focusing on how shitty my skin is, probably stressing myself out even more and making it break out worst. The junk I was using on my face dried it out so bad that it flakes no matter what I put on it so I`ve been using this old school stuff.

It looks like it`s getting a lot better but it`s scarring up. I`ve been failing at buying stuff lately, I successfully bought lashes but got the individual glue so I can`t use them and that discourages me from buying foundation or concealer I don`t even know how to use to cover up my acne.

When I first considered being Gal I was afraid of all the makeup ruining my face, then I stopped caring and now my thoughts change everyday.  I even questioned whether I was trying to cover my own face out of pure self-hate.

I don`t have what it takes yet so I won`t join a circle or call myself Gal if I can`t commit to the lifestyle. I don`t want to be the girl who stops showing up and comes looking fucked up. I don`t want to appear like I don`t give a shit but I think I`m the shit because I don`t, I just feel like shit. Everyday I wake up feeling shitty about myself and I don`t want to go to B*C boo hooing all the time. That shit gets annoying for the people who have to listen to it. I know they care about me and offer their advice but I don`t want to piggyback off of anybody. Time has been against me and I don`t want to use that as an excuse. So when I can`t work on makeup, I do research, I try to learn some Para Para and if nothing else I try to fix my fucked up skin.

 My life has been getting the right answers out of textbooks and staying in the house. I don`t know how to handle not getting the results I want right away because I never tried to do much outside of home and school. I never focused on working on myself and I feel like I`m not as aware of myself as I should be.  Maybe I`m rushing things and just getting frustrated especially since I`m in college around all these experienced people who seem to have it all together but I`m not use to this.

I don`t know what everyone`s talking about and I feel like an outsider where ever I go but what makes me feel even worst is making up for 18 yrs of not living. I feel like a baby relying on everyone around me and I feel like they don`t understand why I act the way I do. It`s not just to be selfish or seem superior. I`m lost and don`t want to feel stupid because every time I open my mouth the answer I get is always something simple, something I should already know, but I don`t. So I try to figure it out myself and avoid asking questions. Stupid right? But that`s just how I am right now but I`m working on it.

From now on I`m going to push myself much harder because I really look up to every Gal in B*C.

I look up to Lisha for being my first real Gal inspiration. I watched her videos on YouTube, read her blogs and if I hadn`t contacted her when I did, who knows what I`d be be doing right now. I would probably be a real hikikomori (basically a recluse) if I hadn`t. I found her story about her journey to becoming Gal and I admire her for coming this far because Tomo mentions her being much more quiet and I just can`t believe it because she reeks confidence to me.

Although I met many of the members of B*C before her, I feel I`m alot more comfortable around Tomo because she`s so truthful and real about everything. She`s always so full of energy and laughing at everything. She makes me laugh so much that I have to hold back tears to keep my eyeliner in place (I`m scared to fix it outside my home).

I didn`t know the true meaning of Gal until I really got to talk to L.A. She`s been nurturing since I met B*C and bawled my eyes out when everyone had to introduce their selves (I try my hardest not to but I`m only a crybaby when I have to talk  about myself  because of all the self esteem issues I have). When I see other Gals I automatically assume they have everything even though I know alot of them work. L.A. is always overcoming her struggles and openly shares them with the rest of us, making me want to work as hard as she does.

Krystal is just amazing to me. I used to get teased a lot for always being the shortest where ever I go. I have a lot of friends who are otaku (I still love them but they are VERY ABUSIVE), they would just pick me up and toss me around like a rag doll but Krystal is a tad bit shorter than me but doesn`t take shit from anybody. She has her own band and has such a powerful voice.

 I always wear my extensions fresh out of a wrap. When she asked me if I wanted to curl my with her curling iron or let her do it, I simply said it was okay, I`d wear it as it but she did it anyway. (I felt so bad.) I`m determined to learn how to curl my hair myself (I need a curling iron though because my house is full of the ones for the stove and I already know how clumsy I am so that`s ok). Krystal is also very considerate. She`s always welcoming us into her home and feeding us all the delicious things she gets from China Town.

Moga is super nice. I like to recede into corners and she checks on me often. She`s always encouraging me to dance (I often don`t even try because when I para para I look like I`m flailing and having convulsions.)  I`m currently learning the Distance~In Your love~ Para she sent me and I`m determined so I try to practice everyday. I still think I look very awkward from always avoiding dancing after I was little but I want to Para with B*C one day (when I`m a little more graceful) and even if I remain horrible at it, I`ll do it with them if they want a mascot.

Nami (from CHANCE), honestly at first I thought she would be really mean but she`s beyond words (but not mean at all). Whenever I think of Nami, I think ENERGY!!!!!

There are a few other members of B*C but I haven`t been around them as much as these Gals.  I met Kevi once and she amazes me being the youngest member of B*C and already knowing so much. She also makes me want to Para Para more because of how much she showed me the first day I met B*C. There`s also Murphy, I haven`t met her at all but I look forward to meeting her in the future.

I`ll join when I feel like I`m prepared...Time to work harder...

Still not getting the hang of any of this at all.... ._.

After meeting B*C for the first time, I`ve been randomly running into members on campus and hanging out with them. During my first week of school, I got terribly lost trying to get to the train station with Lisha, Tomo and Nami (a St. Louis Gal from the Nagosa CHANCE) and they went through hell trying to get me to another station so I could get home. Despite trying to save them time to do what they want, they always wait with me at train stations and para para dance to pass time.

*stolen from Tomo`s FB,  I hope she doesn`t mind*

*stolen from Tomo`s FB*

Tomo and Lisha did Gyaru make up on me and Tomo even gave me 2 make up palettes for some glitter eye shadow even though I don`t know how to use them. They keep me updated on their events. Tomo calls me B*C`s little sister and is always offering her dorm and meditation for when I`m stressed but I just don`t feel like I belong. LA gave me the name Kira*Kira (glittering, sparkling, shiny, twinkle twinkle) and she`s always sharing so many valuable life lessons with me. I had my first real drinks with them and I stay out later with them than I do with any of my other friends. I`m still use to fading into the background and going into my own little world. I wonder if this bothers them.

*more stolen pics*

I`m sensitive, I know but I always feel like crying when they`re nice to me. Sometimes I even want to ask them about what they really think of me even if it`s hurtful (I have a tendency to think people are thinking horrible things about me so I would rather hear them say it).

Maybe I haven`t gotten over years of isolating myself and picking at my own self-esteem yet (I seriously use to think I was fat no matter what anybody told me so I wore black and hoodies religiously. I wore glasses from 2nd grade until a week before prom senior year and I didn`t feel pretty at all so I would put all kinds of weave in my hair to cover most of my face. My mom did my hair and all I would do is wake up and comb it back in my face all day.

 I stayed in my room as much as possible and I did cut while filling my head with all kinds of untrue but self defeating thoughts. I started believing them and they do still linger but I stopped cutting over 2yrs ago and I`m ready to move on. Things are so much better now. Going out more came first and now I`m just exploring.)

I`ve always wanted to be a normal girl (cliche I know) but I did want to be into hair, make up and clothes. I just wasn`t confident enough. I made myself believe I didn`t deserve it and that I wasn`t capable of learning so I didn`t even try. I got tired of my old state of mind after realizing how unhappy I was and I regretted everything I missed not living life.

After thinking about how much confidence old school Gals had to have, I wanted that confidence and became inspired. When I started learning about Gyaru Kei images of Gals like Buriteri were stuck in my head and I was heartbroken when I found out the older styles were just about dead but I still appreciate modern Gal trends. I just wish Yamanba, manba, banba and even wilder tsuyome styles were more present in the Gal community.

Style update:

(I typically dress like this now. Sorry for the bad quality I`m using my phone until I get a good camera. My posing is a little derpy too.)

(This is what I bought when I started trying to improve the way I dress. My closet is okay but could still use some work. I was really lacking in accessories and didn`t wear many at all. Excuse the rest of my mess. I had just moved. The hat is really bad so I don`t wear it TT.TT)

Intro:GIRL not Gal

Hi I`m Kira*Kira, a regular 18yr old Chicago girl.

 Growing up, Asian art dominated the interior of my home so I`ve always had an interest in the Asian culture. After years of watching anime (Sailor Moon being my first) and reading manga I began researching the culture moving from music to culture in general and finally fashion. I admit I was stupid. I actually almost bought into Harajuku style until I realized there is no Harajuku style just an area called Harajuku where people come to express themselves through clothing. People like Gwen Stefani and Nicki Minaj promoting Harajuku style probably saw people dressed in Decora and started spreading disinformation. I also got into Gothic Lolita and Visual Kei.

Every now and then, I came across pictures of old-school Gyaru (Ganguro and Yamanba) but I never knew what to call them.

(Buriteri: One of the most famous early ganguro girls, nicknamed after the black soy sauce used to flavor yellowtail fish in teriyaki )

Over the summer I decided to research them more and wanted to try the style myself. In one of my many searches I came across Black Cherry, a Nagosa here in Chicago.

*stolen from Krystal`s FB, I hope she doesn`t mind*

Initially, I was terrified of these Gals. I thought they would be catty and make fun of me for being so plain and absent-minded. I would visit their page, wishing to have enough courage to contact them just to see what being Gyaru was all about. One day I got pissed at myself for being such a coward and sent an email to one of the first generation Gals, Lisha. She was really nice and didn`t mind explaining things to me but I was still shitting my pants. XD

I`ve been hanging out with Black Cherry since early September. Since then I've been working on dressing better, doing make up and LA even gave me the name Kira* Kira. They`ve been asking me about when I`m going to apply but I honestly don`t know. I still don`t feel like I`ll ever be even close to being Gal but Black Cherry has been treating me very well.

Right now I don`t consider myself Gal, just a regular GIRL inspired by all Gals.